Are you in the driver’s seat?
Growing up, I only knew of two potential career options. I could be a doctor or a lawyer. These were two careers that I understood were successful and stable. I did not consider any other career. This was such an ingrained belief that I went all the way through and became a lawyer, without any regard for whether I enjoyed it. As I got older and my world expanded, I learned of other career opportunities, although they still fit in narrow pre-cut paths. As I gain more knowledge in my life, I continue to grow, understand what’s available, and learn what’s important to me.
Most of us see retirement in the same way I saw my possible career path. When I ask, “when do you want to retire?” a lot of people will answer, “when I’m 65.” The idea of working a full career in a profession and only being able to stop working at 65 is the narrowly pre-cut path that most of us slog through. In law school, I clerked in a federal government position. I worked around people who were career government employees, working long enough to get a pension. I remember one woman in particular who would come to work on Monday and immediately comment on how she couldn’t wait until lunch time, and then 5:00pm, and then Friday, then payday, and then retirement - all within the first hour of each day and periodically throughout the day, repeating this same countdown every day of the week. We are so conditioned to think that we must wait until retirement to start living (at an arbitrary age) that we just blindly go through life doing what most everyone else is doing.
But what if you could “retire” sooner? And, let’s redefine “retirement”. What if retirement meant not that you stop working, but that you are financially able to work doing whatever it is that you love because you need a small, precise amount of money and you’re no longer working just to support a lifestyle? What would you do? What would light you up and make you feel fulfilled? Would you want to take a path different than the pre-cut, retire at 65 (or older) path?
Having a child has made me reflect more about what I want in life and what I want for him. I want the flexibility to spend time with him, to be present with him, to watch him grow and enjoy hobbies with him. I still want to earn an income, but I don’t want to wait to pursue things I am passionate about until I no longer need a predictable income and an 8-5 job. I want my child to know that he’s not limited to being a doctor or a lawyer. I want him to find passion and enjoyment within and not based on societal expectations or norms. I want him to know he doesn’t have to stick to any narrow, pre-cut paths.
Do you feel like you have taken a pre-cut path? Is it because you didn’t know other paths existed? Would you want to take a different path? Are you in the driver’s seat?
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the road less travelled by, and that has made all the difference.” - Robert Frost