Avoiding the things that scare us: How to become confident with your money in 2025
We had our first son over four years ago. Since then, we’ve had a second. Yesterday, I finally learned how to install their car seats. They’ve obviously used car seats this whole time, but my husband has always been the one to put them in. For whatever reason, it scared me, so I avoided it. Whenever we needed to take the car seats out—whether to move them to a different car or to clean them—I had to call my husband for help. I was completely dependent on him when it came to the car seats. Not knowing how to remove or reinstall them left me feeling really nervous. The more I avoided it, the scarier it felt. I’ve felt insecure. What if something happened and I needed to move the car seat, but my husband wasn’t around?
When something scares us, it’s easy to avoid it. This happens frequently with money. We feel nervous or intimidated, maybe even insecure, and instead of facing it head-on, we shy away from it. The more we avoid it, the bigger and scarier it seems. Learning about it starts to feel impossible. We might turn to our partner for help, but even with good intentions, our partners aren’t always the best teachers. Beyond that, life can just get in the way, making it hard to find the time to figure it all out. But as I’ve learned, the best way to take away the fear is to confront it and finally tackle the thing you’ve been avoiding.
Yesterday, I decided to tackle my car seat issue. A few weeks ago, my younger son spilled a smoothie in his car seat and all over the backseat (a chia seed smoothie, no less—which basically means sticky little seeds everywhere). My husband removed the car seats so I could clean the car, but when it was time to put them back, I finally decided to learn how to install them myself. And guess what? IT WAS EASY! It was straightforward. I now know how to install the car seats. I might still let my husband do it most of the time, but I no longer have to fear whether I’ll know how to if I need to. We both know how now, so we can share the responsibility.
If money scares you, I want to encourage you to tackle it head-on. Start with the small stuff, then work on the bigger picture. Set a time to look at it together. If one person feels more hesitant, work as a team to create a manageable system to support each other.
Smaller topics:
Understand your income (simply: what do you bring home each month?).
Get clear on your monthly spending.
Track your spending consistently.
Know what accounts you have and how to access them.
Bigger picture:
What is your net worth?
Do you have debt, and are you comfortable with it, or do you have a plan to pay it off?
What does your retirement plan look like?
Do you have plans for your kid(s)’ education?
Do you have adequate insurance to protect your assets (physical assets like your home and cars, and income assets like you and your partner’s income)?
Start the New Year with this knowledge, and you’ll feel much more comfortable and confident knowing you both have a grasp on how your finances work.