engaging with gratitude

To teach our two-year-old about gratitude, we started a “thankful turkey” activity. Because he doesn’t quite understand the concept of “thankful” or “grateful”, we’ve replaced the concept with “love” or “like”. At the end of each day, we ask him to tell us something he loves or likes. We write his reflection on a paper feather and add it to the body of a turkey we crafted.  

Predictably, on days one and two, it was “mama” and “dada”. Each day he seemed to mostly identify the caregiver he spent the most time with and with more prodding and pushing we got a few other answers from him.  On day eight, he identified “cheesecake.” He’d never had cheesecake before, but that evening, we celebrated his aunt’s birthday and when we got home and asked him what he loved, the answer was clear and resounding: “cheesecake!” (Sorry to everyone at the party!).

Our own limitations in explaining gratitude led us to this version of identifying things he enjoys, but it got me thinking about gratitude differently. Can I clearly identify the things that bring me joy? By doing so, and appreciating those things, could I feel more gratitude?

“Gratitude” comes from the Latin gratitudo meaning “pleasing” or “thankful”. Thinking about things that are pleasing might allow for a deeper sense of feeling than thinking of only that for which we’re thankful. Combining the two might provide for a different way of reflecting on that for which we’re grateful.

Here’s how I am engaging with gratitude this year:

1.     What are the things that I love, that bring me joy, or that are pleasing to me?

2.     Can I take the time to savor each of those things in my life and express appreciation for them?

My family’s Thanksgiving tradition has always been to, right before eating, go around the table and share what we are thankful for. This tradition, for me, skips the first step of engaging with gratitude and quickly jumps to the second. In past years, in a somewhat rote manner, I identify things I’m thankful for without really exploring what it means to experience the joy or pleasure of those things. By doing both together, actually engaging, I might gain a greater sense of gratitude. If I can identify things that truly bring me joy and then acknowledge their impact in my life, I might feel more appreciation for what I have.

While I instinctively know “gratitude” is important to teach my son, I certainly don’t want to neglect the practice for myself. Research suggests that people with more grateful dispositions tend to be happier and have greater satisfaction in their lives.

Our son’s choice of “cheesecake” was just identifying something that brought him joy. It was clear that he feltthis love for the cheesecake. It was such a simple pleasure – something we grow out of acknowledging as true joy.

This year, I’ll start this new tradition, thinking of my own “thankful turkey” and giving myself the time to reflect on the things I love, that have brought me joy and pleasure, and I’ll acknowledge each one with a deeper thankfulness for what they mean.

How do you practice gratitude? How have you noticed it affects your life?