Enjoying what we have
Our two-year-old is currently obsessed with trains, the Thomas and Friends trains in particular. We ordered him a toy train he was asking for, named Gordon. The day after it arrived, he told me he would like another train, one named James, in addition to the one he received. While he still likes Gordon, his excitement has dissipated and now he wants the next. I explained that we buy these toys after we save up our money and that he would have to wait until we could buy him another. Normally, we end our conversations with him on this point, explaining that we must first earn money to buy things and must be selective about our choices. But then, I surprised myself with what I said next, “can we enjoy the one we just got?”
Often, the advice we give others is what we most need ourselves. How can I be grateful for what I have currently? Looking around at my belongings, how can I enjoy them right now? I frequently think my things aren’t good enough, or I want more, or better. I’m reminded of an article I read about how Marie Kondo, the famous organizer, treats her shoes. As she stores them, she wipes them off and thanks them for carrying her around. Instead of thinking my things are not good enough, I began thinking about truly being thankful for the things I have.
I often write about wants versus needs. For most of us, our physiological needs and our must-haves are satisfied. We have shelter, food, water, and clothing. It’s wants – supplemental, nice-to-haves – that send us towards feelings of discontentment or like we don’t have enough.
Being good with money is about behavior – much more than it is about math skills or studying financial concepts. If we can control our behavior, we can use our money in a way that supports our goals and values. Of course, that’s easier said than done.
One tactic to work on controlling our behavior is to exercise gratitude. Before you buy something that is a want, ask, “can I enjoy what I already have instead?” There is always opportunity to practice gratitude. Look around (or look back at your spending log or credit card statements) and thank the things that you have for serving you. Practice gratitude for all the beauty and bounty in your life and you may find feelings of enough-ness and contentment.
My two-year-old graciously said he would enjoy Gordon and excitedly continued playing with the train. In addition to teaching him about saving up for the things he wants, we’ll continue to remind him (and ourselves) to enjoy that which we have in front of us.