for the mamas
This is my first year as a mother. Although I was already caring for and carrying around my son at this time last year, I never could have anticipated the profound love I experienced upon meeting him. Nor could I have anticipated the amount I would care for him, care about his future, his health, his troubles, his joy, his being. There’s nothing I want more in this world than for my child to be happy and healthy. To get to experience life. To not have troubles.
When my husband and I got married, we immediately started getting asked when we would have children. Despite many fears I had about becoming a mother (am I capable of caring for another human?!), I knew that I wanted children. It was important to me to be able to provide for a child in the best way I could. For me, the foundation of being able to provide for my child would be to ensure our family was financially secure. Being financially secure would mean that my child would not know the stress that exists in marriages and relationships because of finances. It would mean that my child wouldn’t have to see his parents argue over money. It would mean that my child wouldn’t experience his parents’ fear of a job loss or a financial emergency. It would also mean that I could focus on other meaningful parts of raising a child.
When we had about $30,000 left to pay off on our debt, we decided we wanted to try to have kids. Despite our efforts, it wasn’t happening. It felt like everyone around me was getting pregnant, and I couldn’t. I was devastated. The month we made our final debt payment, we got pregnant. I feel in my heart that the universe was waiting for that burden to be lifted off of me before letting me become a mother.
In my experience coaching others through their financial journey, I find that mothers tend to be the backbone of the family in so many ways. While not always the breadwinner, or even equal income earner, mothers are often the ones who reach out to me to learn about finances and how to improve their family’s situation. Becoming and being a mom makes a woman have an intrinsic desire to make sure her children are cared for. To make sure that her children’s needs are met, even before her own. Mothers are often the ones who desire to navigate the unknown and scary financial world so that her children can have experiences that she didn’t have. Mothers are often the ones who carry the worries about the children (are they feeling well, are they hungry, are they tired, do they have what they need?). Mothers so often are the ones that have a sense that the financial burden doesn’t feel right. (And way to go dads who are supportive of these moms! I know you’re there, too, but today is for moms ;)).
I’m so honored to get to work with all the wonderful mothers who work tirelessly to give everything she can to her children. You inspire me every day.
Happy Mother’s Day.