Make space for things that matter.
At the start of the new year, I began setting my alarm clock to go off at 5:45am. I can count the number of times I used an alarm clock in the preceding two years. It was fewer than 10. A silver lining of the pandemic was that I was able to work from home. Because I didn’t have to get ready, pack a lunch and a gym back, and commute to work, I could wake up naturally, and unrushed. I’ve always been an early riser, but there is something that feels so much better about waking up naturally instead of with a blaring noise. When I was first sent to work from home, I was about 8 weeks pregnant, so the extra, calm sleep was very welcome. And now that I have an almost 16-month-old, extra sleep is still very welcome. But, at the beginning of the year, as I wrote down all my goals, I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to accomplish a lot of them if I didn’t have a plan for when and how I would accomplish them. As I wrote earlier this week, one of my main goals was to make movement a part of my daily life and I am doing that with yoga. So, every morning, my alarm goes off at 5:45, and I (slowly) get up and start yoga in the living room.
Although I treasured waking up naturally, I also love this time to myself in the day. I have the privilege of staying home with my child. That also means that during the day, I don’t get much time alone. So, I cherish this time in the morning that is just for me. While it can be hard to wake up when the alarm clock goes off, I go to a place where I feel what the time alone will be like and it motivates me to get out of bed and onto the mat.
There is one crucial component that makes this possible. My husband wakes up with the baby and plays with him while I have this time. We only started this at the new year. I used to wake up with the baby and play with him until my husband woke up and went to work. But, I realized that I was so exhausted by the end of the day because I didn’t have any time to myself. Here’s the thing: We have to ask for what we need. I realized that if I was to stay home with our child, I needed to have a little time every morning to get grounded for the day before I had to take care of someone else. When I get this time, I feel better and I can better support my family.
There are three takeaways I want to impart to you as it relates to finances:
1. If working on your finances is important to you, schedule the time to do it. Money controls so much of our lives and carving out a little time to dedicate to focusing on this aspect of life can happen. Decide when and how. Set a time in your calendar and make it a serious appointment. Tap into the feeling of what it will be like when you’re mindful with your finances and making progress towards your goals.
2. If you need support in making your financial goals happen, ask for it. If you’re in a partnership, let your partner know. Let your partner know what you need. And, if you’re not in a partnership and need help, ask a friend to support you. As always, I’d be happy to visit with you and get you started.
3. Finally, when you take care of yourself first, you can better help those around you. Pay attention to where you’re giving your resources. Get yourself in good shape first, and then help others. This might mean you can’t support a relative at the moment, or pay for kid’s college. If you’re not on solid ground, it’s really hard to help someone else.
I used to associate the sound of the alarm clock with something I didn’t want to do – waking up and going to work. Now, when the alarm goes off, it is going off for me. It’s waking me for something I am deliberately choosing to do. The reality is, we cannot “make time”. Time is finite. We have to use it in the best way for us. It is a fallacy if we think we can “make time” for additional things on our plate. But, if you carefully decide what can take your time, choose to do those things, and create positive associations with them, you will be on your way to accomplishing those things that are meaningful to you, that fill your cup, and that keep you moving in the direction you want to be going.