Mindful spending: Three simple rules to rein in impulsive buying habits

In the past, anytime someone recommended a book, I would hop on Amazon and order it within seconds. To me, buying books felt benign. Books were either joyful pleasure or they taught me something. There seemed to be no problem in making these sorts of purchases; more books equated to a smarter and happier me.

Except, I had a stack of books on my bedside table waiting to be read, and frankly, never getting read. And, all these small, mindless, purchases were adding up in my spending.

Noticing the impact, I decided to stop buying a book whenever it was recommended. I created three rules. The first: The book purchase must come out of a category in our spending plan. Typically, that means my fun money category. If there’s not money for it, then that’s an easy decision – I don’t buy it. But, even if there is money for it, I delay the purchase. Any purchase is a tradeoff for something else—a $20 book could also be brunch with a friend.  This is the second rule: Delay the purchase.

A great way to delay the purchase, especially on Amazon, is by creating “lists”. These are places where you can save items you want for later and are a layer removed from your shopping cart. Whenever someone recommends a book to me, I search for the book and save it to my list. Most of the time, I forget about why something made it on my list. Typically, someone recommends a book and it’s about some discreet topic that, while interesting at the time, I will have no recollection of why it’s on my list a month or two later. If I do remember it and still want it, I can buy it, if it fits within a budget category. If I don’t want it any longer, I remove it from the list.

My husband and I both use this strategy, and it is a great starting point for giving each other gifts for holidays. Plus, knowing that someone else might buy off my list forces me to regularly curate things I truly want.

In addition to adding a book to my list, I will also check to see if my local library has it. Interestingly, though I’ve stopped purchasing so many books, I’ve been reading (and listening) to more than any other time in my life. This is a great reminder that the underlying interest I was seeking with my knee-jerk paperback purchases was the enjoyment of a great story or the excitement of learning something new – something that can be accomplished without ever entering my credit card info. This is the third rule: Can I accomplish this interest in some other way?

My big wants from Amazon tend to be books, but I take a similar approach for other discretionary (wants) purchases. If I end up on a website, I will happily fill a shopping cart with all the things I want. After a delay (a day or two, or a week), I’ll go back and review my cart. Most of the time, I’m able to whittle it down – not feeling the same pull that I had initially to the items in the cart. If I still want those items, I might give them another delay, but no matter what, every purchase must fit within a spending category.

We so often buy items because of an emotional response. That emotional response may not even be something for which we’re conscious. That’s why it’s so important to give yourself time before making a purchase. Without this, we are inclined to buy in an emotional state – be it any number of emotions, such as excitement, boredom, connection, or sadness. But feelings change. If we can give these emotions a chance to pass, we can make a mindful choice about a purchase, honor our own boundaries, and maybe even find creative alternatives.

The rules:

1.     Check your spending plan. Ask, Have I allocated money for this?

2.     Delay the purchase. Come back to it after some time has passed. Ask, Do I still want this?

3.     Consider alternative ways to get the item or accomplish the interest. Ask, Can I get this or accomplish it some other way?