Reclaiming Control: A Guide to Overcoming Overspending and Building Financial Stability

Do you ever come to a point in the month where you’re not sure if you’ll make ends meet or you’ll have to dip into savings? Or perhaps you know you should be investing but it seems impossible because there’s just not enough money to do all the things demanding your resources? You feel guilty and ashamed and just aren’t sure if you’re spending too much or how to stop spending so much money. This is the post for you.

If you feel like you are spending too much money, the first step is to get clarity. It is impossible to improve on something we don’t fully understand.

I love to use a tracking sheet to keep tabs on how I’m spending my money. Every few days, I review receipts and statements and input my expenditures. Seeing the real numbers on my sheet is the clarity I’m after. No longer am I dependent on my memory to help me determine what I’ve bought (because our memory will be selective!). We also have to discover if we’re spending too much or our income is simply not enough to cover essentials.

Once I am clear on where my money is going, I can form budget categories that serve as boundaries. The beautiful part of creating boundaries around our spending is that we are the only ones who must respect those boundaries. Of course, it’s not only creating boundaries that helps us stop spending so much. We also must change our habits.

Creating budget categories is a great place to start in changing our habits. Budget categories tell us how much we can spend during a given time. For example, if I have $800 every month to spend on food, per my budget category, I can determine how much I can spend every time I go to the grocery store and still stay within my budget. This requires consistent checking-in with my budget. Creating a plan ahead of time helps form better habits.

I also want to understand what is causing my spending behaviors. Do I spend out of boredom? Am I spending because of convenience? Do I spend when I am upset about something? Or perhaps even when I am happy about something? Knowing what triggers your spending can be insightful to find ways to curb it. Start paying attention to when you’re spending and why.

If you can pinpoint something that cues spending money, change your environment to remove the cue. For example, if every time you get on social media you feel the need to buy something (either you’re being sold something or you see something someone else has that you want), limit your screen time. If you know you are eating out at the end of a long day, plan to have something easy available at your home after those long days. Take the decisions away ahead of time.

Make a list of your essentials, or your needs. If you see you want something, consult your list. Is that thing you need on your list? If not, do you need it? The answer is probably no. If it turns out it is just a want and not a need, put it on a list of wants. When you have money allocated for wants, consult your want list. At that time, decide whether you still want that thing. Again, this money allocated for wants has boundaries, so you likely won’t be able to get everything you want. You will know, however, that your needs are met, and this creates feelings of safety, and you won’t face those feelings of guilt or shame after the fact.  

Finally, imagine your dream life. Every time you make a purchase, is that purchase getting you closer to your dream life? If it is not helping you get closer, don’t do it. Wait for the things you really want in life (which often are not things money can even buy!).

Changing our spending habits to spend less money can be challenging. Having a clear purpose for why you want to make changes, creating an environment that supports those changes, and consistent tracking are all ways that we can foster better spending habits.