Running through resistance.

This past September, I started running. I’ve tried running multiple times in my life. I have done a couple of 5k and 10k races. When I say races, I should really say events. I trained long enough to do the event and then I promptly quit running. Maybe every month or two I’d think about running, maybe do a mile, realize it was hard or I didn’t like it, and quit again. Running has never been a constant in my life. It is something I have neverenjoyed. In fact, I hated it. I hated exerting myself in the way you do running. I hated sweating. I hated how hard it felt. 

So, when my sister told me she was doing a Couch-to-5k training program last September and I asked to join, I didn’t have high hopes. I knew my history and thought I would follow my similar patterns. 

When I’m coaching my clients, I tell them to just track their expenses and stick to their budget. I love tracking expenses and sticking to our budget. I find it like a game – the better we can do, the more opportunities we have. The more I see wealth accumulate and the more choices I see for us. But I noticed that some of my clients had a lot of resistance towards tracking and budgeting and always had a reason for not doing it. Because I am curious about the behavioral side of personal finance, I wanted to understand why this was. Why was tracking and budgeting easy (and fun) for me, but so challenging for some of my clients? 

I started thinking about things that I resisted and that I always had an excuse for. For me, the obvious answer is exercise. I have never enjoyed it and I have always had a reason not to do it. In the past, my excuses looked like: I can’t exercise if I don’t do it first thing in the morning because if I’ve already eaten, I can’t exercise; Or, perhaps, I can’t exercise because it isn’t a day I wash my hair and if I get sweaty my hair will get ruined and then I will have to wash it. Or, I don’t have time to exercise. There was always a reason to not do it. 

So, I set out with this challenge of trying to understand what mental barriers were keeping me from exercising so that maybe I could help my clients work through some of the challenges they faced when it came to tracking, creating a budget, and sticking to it. 

Now, I can’t say I’m perfect at running, but I’ve come a long way and now I love it. I have been running consistently for 6 months and just completed the longest run I have ever done – nine miles! I now craverunning. When I first started running in September, it was so hard for me. I could only focus on what I was doing (or listen to Lizzo for her hype). I could not talk to someone while running. I could not listen to a podcast or audiobook. I could run one minute and then I was out of breath, and I would feel like quitting. On my nine-mile run today, I listened to two podcasts. During my shorter runs, I usually chat with my running partner the entire time. Now when I run, I feel bliss, joy, release. It is something I want to do. 

So, what have I discovered through my running that I can impart for when you find something challenging? Here are my main takeaways. 

1.     Create a plan that is something you can *actually* follow. The Couch-to-5k running training program starts slow. It has you gradually build up to a 5k (about 3 miles) over 8 weeks. The first week, the plan has you running for a minute and walking for a minute and a half. And it goes like this for the first few weeks until you are ready and have built up the stamina for more. And the coolest part is that you see that you have built up the stamina for more! That first minute running, if you’re not a seasoned runner, is hard! But, by week five you’re able to run for 8 minutes! 

So often, we create a plan that is completely unattainable. Last week, I had a day to myself – my son was with his grandparents. I wrote my list of what I wanted to accomplish for the day. I literally had about a month’s worth of work on the list. And, by the end of the day, I was discouraged because I had only accomplished a day’s worth. The truth was my plan was something that I never could have realistically followed and so I couldn’t be disappointed in not achieving the unattainable results. The same is often true with how we approach our finances. The plans we make for ourselves are unrealistic and then we’re discouraged when we don’t follow them. It often causes us to not follow through. 

Create a realistic plan you can actually follow.

2.     Find someone to help keep you accountable. With running, it has been my sister. We go out for most of our runs together. It’s a great time to catch up, it makes the runs more fun, and it also helps me get out there. With other things, I have other accountability partners. I am studying to become an Accredited Financial Counselor and I have a colleague also studying for the same. We have regular check-ins to report our progress to one another. 

You might find someone who is going through something similar or wanting to embark on something similar. You might hire a coach (I’ve considered this with running!). You might find an online community where you can check in (I have a free one every Wednesday night for finances – you can follow me on Instagram or join my email list for the weekly link). 

 Holding ourselves accountable can be hard. If someone else is expecting us to show up, we might be more able to follow through.

3.     The thing you’re trying to do might sort of suck, until it doesn’t. With running, there was this point when suddenly, I loved it. I wanted more of it. I looked forward to it. But, until I got there, I mostly hated it. I dreaded it. 

Sometimes, we work through the pain and discomfort until we get to that point of enjoyment. I had a similar experience with budgeting in the beginning. It was hard. It didn’t feel that rewarding. The progress was slow. And then, all of a sudden, the progress was huge. The rewards felt incredible.

As with everything, the more we do it, the easier and often more enjoyable, it gets. 

If there is something that you have been wanting to do but know you have some resistance towards doing, try these steps. If anything, give yourself the opportunity to decide if you enjoy it because it’s hard to know without trying.