shifting From “I don’t have enough” to “I’m choosing…”
I often feel like I don’t have enough time. I have a two-year old and a four-month old. My husband works full time and I squeeze in as many hours of work as the four-month old allows during his naps or after the kids go to bed. I often find myself saying, “there are not enough hours in the day!” Regardless of your circumstances, you probably feel similarly. Every single person reading this has a lot on their plate. You’re juggling work, maintaining a home, perhaps children, and also, just being a human with all the accompanying complexities. The demands on us all are a lot. But, here’s why I’m trying to change this dialogue in my vocabulary.
I am the one deciding that I have too much to do. When I realistically look at what I have to do in a day, there is time for all of my basic needs to be met (and my children’s). Everything else I add to my day is a bonus. Sure, if you work for someone, you probably have to show up for a set period of time. But how we spend our time, we get to decide. If I add four tasks to my calendar and they are unrealistic from a time management perspective, then I’ve set myself up to fail. If I know that I realistically am only going to have time for one thing and I only add that one thing to my calendar, I not only feel accomplished for the day, but I feel like I have enough time. I’m choosing to manage my time more realistically.
Like with time, we have countless demands on our finances. When we’re realistic about how we use our money, meeting just the basics can use up a lot of resources. It can be easy to think “I don’t have enough.” To make this same shift from I don’t have enough to I’m choosing, start by getting really clear on your basic needs and how much of your income they take up. From there, decide ahead of time how you want to allocate the rest of your resources. This exercise will force you to get really clear on what you bring in to your life – perhaps now isn’t the time for a vacation or you may not be able to get your kid something they’ve been asking for or maybe even it means you suggest a coffee date with a friend instead of a dinner date because you’d rather use those resources differently. You can make the shift from “there’s not enough” to “I choose”, by getting clear on how you’re allocating your precious resources.
Going from not enough to I’m choosing is liberating. It puts you in control of what you are experiencing.