Summer Lovin’: Successfully Managing Money with a Partner

Nine years ago, the cute boy I was casually dating invited me to an event at his family’s brewery. To my surprise, he introduced me to his mom as his girlfriend! That cute boy is now my handsome husband, and soon after that event, our relationship quickly strengthened and grew.

When we first started living together, we kept our finances separate. He moved into my house and paid for half of the major expenses—mainly the mortgage and utilities. Everything else, like groceries and other miscellaneous costs, we handled ad hoc. Sometimes I’d pay, sometimes he would, and we aimed to split things evenly.

However, this approach soon felt unfair and led to resentment. Our lack of shared financial planning also meant we often had to pass on opportunities we wanted to enjoy together. When we got engaged, we knew we needed a better system. Seven years later, we’re still using the system: the foundation is the Bottom Line method.

We combine all our income and share all our expenses. We make decisions about our expenses together, not based on percentages of our earnings or any other method. Instead, we use our combined resources to build the life we both want—one that balances shared interests and honors each other’s individual pursuits. Neither of us has overriding power. We rely on our budget framework to guide our decisions, using the data it provides to make informed choices for our family.

Combining finances isn’t just about practicality; it’s about fostering a deeper sense of trust, partnership, and mutual respect. By pooling our resources, we’ve been able to pursue shared dreams and support each other’s individual goals without the stress of financial imbalance. This approach has allowed us to say yes to more opportunities and experiences, from work and parenting decisions, to hobbies, to investments in our future, without the underlying tension that comes from financial disparity.

If you’re in a similar situation and feeling the strain of keeping finances separate, consider exploring a more unified approach. It might feel daunting at first, but the benefits of shared financial planning can lead to a stronger, more harmonious relationship. By working together towards common goals, you can create a life that truly reflects both of your aspirations.

I’d love to hear what does and doesn’t work for you as you navigate finances with your partner.  Feel free to contact me to let me know!