Watch out for this slippery slope
It’s important to spend money on the things that we value. Much like how tidying expert Marie Kondo encourages picking up an item and asking whether it “sparks joy”, we can do the same with each thing we buy. Does it spark joy? Or rather, is it in line with our values? If isn’t, then don’t buy it.
But, there’s a big caution here. It’s pretty easy to decide that something is in line with our values and to justify its purchase. If you want something and the only person you have to convince is yourself, you might not put up your best defense—your brain can be effective with mental gymnastics if it secures a later dose of dopamine.
A value of mine is preparing good food for my family. I like to find and try interesting recipes to make. Sometimes a new dish will require obscure, one-time-use-before-you-find-them-expired-two-years-later-in-the-back-of-the-fridge ingredients. I can easily justify those purchases in our “food” category of our budget, after all, healthy food has a place in our budget because it is something we value. However, while spending money on “good food” is permissible per our budget, it may also conflict with another value: respecting the pre-defined boundaries of our budget, or my Bottom Line system.
To stick to our budget in a meaningful way, and not go down this slippery slope of justifying purchases that may be things we value, we have to prioritize our values.
Here’s the method I use to ensure that I’m not justifying something simply because I want it:
Does this purchase align with my values?
Does this purchase align with my goals?
Is it in my budget?
Knowing whether it is in your budget typically will also help answer the first two questions, because our budget is made (ahead of time!) and already accounts for the values and goals we prioritize.
Over the years, I’ve seen this play in a lot of ways, personally and with my clients. We may value travel, nice clothing, good food, our children (of course!), convenience, and any number of other things. When we scrutinize our spending, we tend to write these things off as being okay because they are things we value, and that’s the end of that. While this might be true, if these things cause us to spend more than we earn, we aren’t managing our money mindfully and in a way that creates financial wellbeing. The analysis shouldn’t stop after we identify a value and connect it to a purchase.
The most challenging part of this work is serving as an objective observer of our habits. If justifying our actions to ourselves doesn’t bring us financial wellbeing, we must leave room for observing our emotional reactions and deciding what actions we can take for meaningful change.