What I wish I knew about managing money
When I started college and my first office job, any good financial habits my parents instilled were thrown out the window. If I managed to save any money, it was never earmarked for a particular purpose. So, when I spent too much on clothes and then had to pay rent, I was quick to dip into my savings account. But too much dipping, and I watched my savings dwindle.
By law school, despite working multiple jobs, I never thought much about saving. Instead, I borrowed tens of thousands of dollars, imagining I’d pay it all back when I started working. I’d have money, and I’d spend money. When I got a credit card statement that seemed too big, I’d glance it over and either find a justification or commit to a “no-spend month,” only to be derailed by some predictable expense.
When I finally learned to manage money and created a system that worked for me, everything clicked. I no longer needed no-spend months or wondered about my credit card balance. I knew why every dollar was spent. With this system, my husband and I paid off over $90,000 of debt in just two years and achieved financial stability. We’ve never experienced financial stress after that time. That was amazing and a great part of the journey, but I wish I knew about all these other things that would have happened, too:
My husband and I learned to communicate about money and get on the same page – with money and with where we want to go in life.
We created equality in our marriage because it no longer mattered who earned and contributed what. Our resources – time, energy, money – create our life together.
Because we prioritize meals at home instead of eating out in our spending plan, we have become better cooks and enjoy cooking.
Our health improved because we began planning and eating nutritious meals at home regularly.
Our relationship with alcohol improved because we set boundaries around buying alcohol.
Setting boundaries with money, and respecting them, helps us honor our own and each other’s dreams and strengthens our connection.
Our values continue to get clearer.
I’m not alone in experiencing these awesome byproducts. Clients have expressed they’ve experienced benefits from getting clarity about how they use their money. Here’s some of what I’ve heard from clients:
They learned to communicate better with their partner.
They’ve paid tens of thousands of dollars of debt.
Their relationship improved because they started using their resources to do things together.
They gained better control of their emotions because they began to notice their spending patterns as they related to emotions.
They started drinking less alcohol because they didn’t want to spend the money on it and they’ve found other things they enjoy doing together.
Managing our money goes far beyond numbers in an account. Had I known there would be all these other benefits, I hope I would have done this work sooner. I now know that deprivation doesn’t work. Instead, the success and peace of mind with money comes from making intentional choices that support the life we want to live. We must know the direction we want to go and then implement a system that gets us there. Ignorance is temporary bliss, but knowledge is ongoing power. When we have a system in place that empowers us to make decisions that support our life, then we start reaping benefits that extend well beyond numbers in a bank account.